vilakins | Warning: introvert

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Warning: introvert

Yet another MBTI test - yep, once again I'm an INTP although there aren't many questions.

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Of course, this type is rare because it's introvert and we're in the minority. I work with all extroverts and they imply that I'm not quite good enough despite how good I am at what I do because I should be more like them. I was told so again yesterday: I'm too flat on the phone and too reserved with clients. I'm being sent on a course later this year which will basically be about how to fake being a bright and bouncy extrovert. Look, I like acting, but I really don't feel like being someone else all day, but I suppose I'll have to be.

In other news, I'm back from Pasifika and cooling down in front of a fan. It was great and I bought food and art and watched dancers, and there will be picspam, but today's even more scorchio than yesterday.

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I come out either INTJ or ISTJ, depending on how I'm feeling on the day. Of course, according to other models, I come out as a fairly reserved extravert (yes, the 'a' is deliberate) since I depend a lot on how other people react to me to be able to determine how I am, and other people's opinions *do* matter a lot to me. My partner, by contrast, is a very solid intravert (again, deliberate 'a') because he gets his self-image from inside, and couldn't give a flying whatever what other people think of him.

Of course, meeting us casually, you'd probably get the reverse impression, since he's the one with the "life of the party" act (he's a Gemini...) and I'm the one who sits and listens most of the time.

We did a simple MBTI at uni once where people answered questions about each aspect, then went to the appropriate side of the room. After the first one, everyone was calling out to me that I was on the wrong side and to go over to them because of course I was an extrovert because I like acting, performing, and telling jokes. Introverts can be loud and enjoy attention and extroverts can be reserved which makes it hard to type people. It's more where we get our energy: from being alone or with other people. I love silence and solitude and escape from life, and really need it every day; extroverts like my mother and sister can't stand being alone or in silence and fill it with the radio, TV, or their own voices which drives me round the twist. :-P

I do care what others think of me, but OTOH I won't mould myself into the shape they want.

I get my values from inside rather than others, which is an N characteristic. They haven't changed much, whereas my sister's values and politics depend on who her current close friends are; she's an S. In fact, she's the exact opposite of me which explains why we've never got on and can't understand each other. :-(

My Greg is an INTP like me, but more introverted. He's been known to leave the room when visitors are here to read or play on the computer, and I haven't done that since I was a teenager.

T. E. Lawrence is good example of a "flashy" introvert. I mean, he was one of the big, flamboyant "heroes" of WWI, certainly a performer. But just as certainly, he was someone who was most comfortable and energized alone. If you read his letters, he always seemed to be curling up with a book or taking a bath or escaping to his cottage for weekend alone when he needed to recharge.

Yes! I need my books and aloneness. Plus it's easy enough to be bouncy and flamboyant when you're in the mood. I've done a lot of acting, but being asked in effect to act all day is just very hard and extremely tiring. Maybe the course will give me some pointers.

It's yucky to have to fake being an extrovert. In fact, it's hard to be an introvert in general.

Me, I'm pretty naturally "animated" in teaching/service-oriented interactions but mainly because they hype me way up, which means they exhaust me very fast. It's ironic--though educational--that I'm on the reference desk for most of my library internship hours. I'm learning a lot, but, God, it's tiring!

It so is. This job has a lot more public interaction than my previous programming ones and I do find it hard. I'm not going to begin to get them to understand that though; I'll just have to learn to fake it.

I work with all extroverts and they imply that I'm not quite good enough despite how good I am at what I do because I should be more like them.

Oh pooh! (pokes out tongue at them)

although there aren't many questions.

No, there weren't at all, and it still picked me for an INFP.

I'd like to know who thought pretending all day every day that one is what one is not is a good idea. Sounds more like a recipe for burnout to me...

Unfortunately dealing with clients is part of the job and apparently I'm not bright and smiley enough. :-( Way to make me feel good about myself too.

The idiots. They might want bright and smiley. What they need is interested and focused on the client's needs. I should think it's a bit hard to the listening part of the communication equation when the edges of your lips are up around your ears...

The thing is, they all do it very well. I do try, but I see myself failing quite a lot when I'm stressed - as I am now.

Then they're going to have to find some way of accepting that there's more than one way of doing this customer service business. I admit a bias or prejudice or some such thing here, having worked in libraries and other situations where you don't have to be constantly upbeat when you are dealing with people, and people never seemed to mind if you weren't.

You know, that's true, Librarians are just efficient and that's what I try to be. However, the people I work with are always upbeat so they just don't get why I can't be. I also get the impression some people may have compared me unfavourably to them.

I wish I knew what to suggest, but if it's involving people doing unfavourable comparisons and not to your face either, that seems like some sort of crisis is closing on you. I suppose it's good that you are going to do that course, but are your colleagues doing something similar? I keep thinking relentless upbeatness is just as likely to irritate some clients as it is to impress them, and that the occasional person who just does calm efficiency without the need to display every tooth in his or her head might be welcomed in some quarters. Or maybe that's just me...

You're probably an introvert too. :-) I'm just happy if people are polite and efficient, but being welcoming and smiley appears now to be part of the job description. I'm pretty sure they've done some sort of course because they use people's names in conversation a lot and I think that's a technique.

I don't think they're going to fire me or anything like that because they're delighted with my work; it's just this one thing they said I have to improve.

Butbutbut... you do things with computers! So you're meant to be an introvert!

I really hate this one size fits all stuff. My son used to get it at school; the teachers worried because he wasn't socialising all the time (head stuck in a book). Luckily the English mistress stuck up for his right to be happy in the way he wanted, and added that if the snatches of conversation she heard from the lads in the yard were anything to go by, he wasn't missing much...

I have to do things with computers (no problems there) and deal with clients. I don't do as well as the others on the latter. Sigh. They've picked that once I have a relationship with a client it's fine, but that I'm too reserved until I do. [is a bit depressed at once again failing at life]

Maybe you can get the clients to stick up for you and point out what's actually important. I'm sure if I were a client I would rather have someone on the case who was taciturn and knew what she was doing, than a hail-fellow-well-met bungler.

Ah, but their opinion (and they're not alone, I've read) is that first impressions count and I don't give a good one.

I know one of them must be faking it now because her mother's quite ill and you'd never guess she was worried, but I have no idea how she does it. She's always upbeat and cheerful.

I said I was happy to go on their course because maybe it's a skill I can learn. I know I'm a lt more sociable and civilised than when I was a teenager and said just what I thought, so I obviously can improve if I already have.

You might try pointing out to them that clients who are like you and me are put off by the overly cheery, "upbeat" kind of customer service person. It comes across as phony and oppressive; in fact, I once wrote a scene in which Avon was complaining to himself of the way Vila oppressed others with cheerfulness. :)

And actually, I do think that introverts are statistically half the population; we just don't assert ourselves, so we don't notice each other very much, and the extroverts almost don't notice us at all, and therefore everybody assumes that they're normal and we're not. I'm not falling for it any more. Don't you fall for it, either.

Oh, and when I say point out to them that some clients are put off by the cheery sort, I don't mean do it in a way that makes them defensive about being upbeat; I mean to present it as your being customer service for that other percent of the population. It only makes sense to serve both kinds.

I wish I'd read that before I posted my last comment. That's a better way of saying what I was trying to say...

No, I don't know as it's better; and surely, the fact that we both feel that way lends credence to the point.

clients who are like you and me are put off by the overly cheery, "upbeat" kind of customer service person

Too true! One of those street sellers of godknowswhat, it could be anything from religion through charity to goods, came bouncing up to me yesterday and said "Hello, I'm Ben, I want to meet you!" I would have declined in any case but this offensive familiarity actually made me go Ugh! draw back a pace and scuttle off.

The thing is, the others really are lovely and friendly regardless, even though I know one of them has an ill mother. They don't come across like those horrible oily sales people whom I can't stand either, but nice people who are genuinely interested in everyone. I find that hard to fake when I either don't know the person yet or they're being unpleasant. It probably is a failing or lack, like not liking ponies and babies and shoes and shopping, though it's only shopping I actually dislike. ;-)

Avon was complaining to himself of the way Vila oppressed others with cheerfulness.

Ha! But only in S1 and S2.

I don't think we're half the population. I believe MBTI says about 25%, which is still a large enough proportion to be more accepted, but no.

You can learn to do it, and over time it can become second nature to do so. I learned and though it is tiring when you start it does get easier. I find it helps to have a work persona, and a costume, so I go into that mode when I out on the make up and outfit that forms a part of my professional 'part'. It is just like acting, but it is what most successful people do, because a lot of them are I in one configuration or another. Me I'm INTP too and it caused me all sorts of problems until I was forced to learn to 'role play'. These days I feel that it's the T that causes the problem!

Yes, you're right, it's more the T, though I think the I is what makes me dislike interruptions when I'm working.

I have hopes that the copurse will give me some skills nad techniques rather than just tell me what to do.

Ouch - I'm a INFP and would hate to be with extroverts all the time. *twitches* I like joking with people so I can come across as a bit of an extrovert, but I like being in my own space when I can.

It's annoying when bosses decide you are the square peg that needs to be put in that round hole at whatever cost...

Ah ha, no wonder you hate being on reception! :-) The part of my job I dislike the most is dealing with people, and I suppose that comes across. I'm a back room person, but it's really hard to find jobs these days that don't involve people or support work or something I'm not good at. I started in R&D; those were the days.

I know I'd rather not be on reception all day. It's all right when I'm covering for the receptionist's breaks, since it gets me away from my back room and I don't mind dealing with the public.

It's just if I have to do it *all day*, I'm left feeling drained and hyper. Plus frustrated because I don't have time to do my usual work. :(

Yep, I get both the drained and frustrated. I think I just need more time to change from work mode into social mode. If I was on reception say, I'd psych myself into being the cheery hello person, but it's really hard to do that when I've got my head down working on an image or spreadsheet, or writing an article, and someone interrupts me. I suppose I'll just have to work at it. I hope this course helps with that; maybe there are techniques that will enable me to forget what I was doing and concentrate on the person interrupting me.

I hope you do get some usefulness out of the course, it's just a shame your bosses feel that you *need* to attend it. :(

There's a commonly held misperception that an introvert can't be a people person. I score highly on the introvert side, but I love people and enjoy talking to them. It just wears me out and I have to go and hide for a while to recharge my batteries.

The Myers-Briggs definition of introvert/extrovert is to do with what energises you - an extrovert is energised by being among people, an introvert by being alone. Introversion =/= shyness or lack of people skills.

Yes, I know that. I do like talking to others and am often taken for an extrovert as I said elsewhere here, but I find it really hard to be chatty and cheerful when I'm working on something and get interrupted. That's an introvert characteristic I believe. My mind remains on what I was doing and I'm distracted. It's something I know I do but find really hard to change.

I got ISTP, but there were several questions which I wanted to answer "neither" or "it depends", so I'm not sure how accurate the result is. I'm definitely an introvert, though..

This site (http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html) has a very quick way of telling which one is most likely to be yours, plus nice clear descriptions of the types. Some sites are full of impenetrable jargon.

Thanks. Based on that, I would rate myself as INTJ. The T/F one was the most difficult to decide, as I have a couple of F indicators: "Naturally seek consensus and popular opinions" and "Unsettled by conflict; have almost a toxic reaction to disharmony".

Very few people are completely one or the other on any of the indicators. E.g. I'm not that strongly T (so have some F) but I'm very N. My reaction to disharmony seems to depend on how personal it is. There's a difference between objective and stimulating debate and an argument which turns nasty.

Simple MBTI can be useful for understanding how different people think, and for how to appeal to most types in a presentation, but I've never bothered to go much deeper into it.

This seems a good point to say hello. For the short test I got the same as you, but for one of the links you gave, I got ISFJ, which on reflection seems to fit better. Not that I can't be goofy...*g*

Hi there! Though it seems a bad time to say hello; My posts are usually more upbeat than this.

I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your Firefly fics, esp the one from River's POV, though as you may have gathered, I'm a bit shy. Is it all right if I point a big Firefly fan friend in your direction?

Are you sure you're not INFJ? I say that because writers are usually N for intuitive, which covers imagination. :-)

Thanks for the nice words about my Firefly snippets. Yes, of course you can mention them if you think someone would be interested.

Somewhere there's a B7 AU on the hard-drive which I might have to finish one day, too...

I think I sort of browse between S and N, but today I plonked for the S side of things. The other letters, no confusion about them at all. *g*

B7 AU! I look forward to it. :-D

OK, I'll do a welcome post for you. BTW where do you live? I'm in Auckland, and though I'm not a member of Stella Nova, I'm on their mailing lists.

Whatever a welcome post is, feel free. I live in the Wairarapa (I have the Herald on my links page because I always liked their layout better than Stuff's). Stella Nova?

An Auckland SF club who organise the occasional con. I think it was one of them who set up

nz_fandom.

I sometimes link to Herald articles, and reading it on-line saves lots of trees as I don't read most paper sections.

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