vilakins | Is this a kissing book?

For those LOTR fans who have also read or seen The Princess Bride, Is This a Kissing Book? is the first done in the style of the second (thanks to neongraal for the link). A sample:

Outside Minas Tirith
WITCH KING: Good heavens. Are you still trying to win? You’ve got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It’s going to get you into trouble someday.
EOWYN: Hello. My name is Eowyn. You killed my uncle. Prepare to die!
[...]
EOWYN: I admit it, you are better than I am.
WITCH KING: Then why are you smiling?
EOWYN: Because I know something you don’t know.
WITCH KING: And what is that?
EOWYN: I am not a man!