Poetry post

[vilakins]

Everyone else is doing it, so here's one from me.

Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy
from Hamlet's Cat
by William Shakespeare's Cat

To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to remain within: that is the question:
Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer
The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather
That Nature rains on those who roam abroad,
Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet,
And so by dozing melt the solid hours
That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time
And stall the dinner bell.
To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem to state
A wish to venture forth without delay,
Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.
To prowl; to sleep;
To choose not knowing when we may once more
Our readmittance gain: aye, there's the hairball;
For if a paw were shaped to turn a knob,
Or work a lock or slip a window-catch,
And going out and coming in were made
As simple as the breaking of a bowl,
What cat would bear the household's petty plagues,
The cook's well-practiced kicks, the butler's broom,
The infant's careless pokes, the tickled ears,
The trampled tail, and all the daily shocks
That fur is heir to, when, of his own free will,
He might his exodus or entrance make
With a mere mitten?
Who would spaniels fear,
Or strays trespassing from a neighbour's yard,
But that the dread of our unheeded cries
And scratches at a barricaded door
No claw can open up, dispels our nerve
And makes us rather bear our humans' faults
Than run away to unguessed miseries?
Thus caution doth make house cats of us all;
And thus the bristling hair of resolution
Is softened up with the pale brush of thought,
And since our choices hinge on weighty things,
We pause upon the threshold of decision.

From Henry Beard's Poetry for Cats.

And because it's such a nice day after yesterday's brief return to winter, here's a haiku of my own.

Cats doze in the sun
flat out like furry lizards
their motors idling

Comments

[steverogerson.livejournal.com]

That's brilliant, and I liked the haiku too, especially the motor idling imagery.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Did you know that cats purr at the same frequency as a diesel engine? :-D

[kernezelda]

I did not know that. I do know that I love the Soliloquy, and also the engine metaphor.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Yep, they're both about 26 cycles per second. And thanks!

[steverogerson.livejournal.com]

I didn't know that, but I am curious about the person who worked it out.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, it wasn't me.

[snowgrouse.livejournal.com]

So, combining that with the thing about the purr frequencies helping bones to heal, we could just ask little old ladies to plonk themselves on diesel cars to treat osteoporosis... cool!

(Considering how most mornings I wake up with Noki sprawed over my hand, perhaps she alleviates the RSI I get from typing and Photoshopping;)..)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

And she probably knows it. :-)

[selenak.livejournal.com]

I adore this soliloquy - must look up Henry Beard. Thanks for posting it!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I don't have the book; a friend sent me the poem a while back via e-mail and I looked it up so I could credit it.

[communicator.livejournal.com]

Great parody, I just shared it with my daughter and she was laughing too

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

It's very well done, isn't it, and describes my cat's indecision at an open door so well:

Then when the portal's opened up, to stand
As if transfixed by doubt.

[glitterboy1.livejournal.com]

That's brilliant, thank you! And I love the haiku - I've always thought that my cats had a motor in there somewhere.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Greg often says to Claudia (who can drown out the TV) "Got a new motor, then?"

[daiseechain.livejournal.com]

I love both of these. And the info about cats and diesels, which I didn't know, so thanks!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Another cat-lover by any chance?