Sartorially Challenged

[vilakins]

From fannish5: Describe the five worst costuming choices in a tv show or movie.

Ah yes, how could I resist doing this for Blake's 7? Actually I like most of the costumes, but there are some spectacularly bad ones.

1. The worst have to be the cockroach costumes, closely followed by the Michelin Men. I'll count those as one since they appear in the same ep. I'm not surprised at Vila's horrified "What d'you call this, then?" when Avon gives him a cockroach cloak to put on.
   
   
2. Vila's Crossing Guard outfit. I did try to explain this one away in a story, Sartorially Challenged, but really, there's no excuse for it.
   
   
3. Avon's Toreador costume. A severe shoulderpad malfunction there.
   
   
4. Dayna's outfit in Sarcophagus which appears not to be named. The Featured Crotch? There are some scenes, I'm told (I loathe the ep) where she was also in danger of escaping from the blue bra.
   
   
5. Avon's House Painter outfit. Just so wrong for him.

They do seem to have had the most fun with Avon. :-D An honourable mention goes to the Red Lobster Suit. Believe it or not, there were meant to be spikes on the yoke of that as if he were a dangerous dog. This would have wonderful to see and raised this one into bronze medal position.

Comments

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

There's also Dayna in Sarcophagus.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I can't stand that ep. [goes to look] OK, I think that's knocked the lobster suit out of the running. I shall edit.

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'd forgotten that outfit of Dayna's, too, and I like "Sarcophagus." Wow, that's a special kind of bad. :)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I have an idea it's as bad from behind but I can't prove it.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Dayna's clothes sense goes up and down like a demented weathervane all through S3, but this one is excruciating in every sense of the word...

[popcorn-oracle.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. Wow. I think Dayna's outfit might knock Vila's yellow monstrosity out though. I didn't remember that one, and Dayna was usually dressed pretty decently. Pretty sure Vila had his least favorite costume of mine in that one as well. I've only watched the exercise in torture that was Sarcophagus once though, so I've blocked most of that episode from my mind.

The protective outfits of Killer really are hilarious and totally unbelievable. Everyone I watch it with's first comment on the white suits (and my own) are "it's the tire guy!"

Avon's shoulderpads though. Aaaaagh. They really break my brain. When he wears that thing I spend half of the episodes cringing.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Yes, Vila's red worm outfit in Sarcophagus is probably his second worst after the crossing guard. It does absolutely nothing for him.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

It looks like he's got his own portable bunker to hide in...

Mind you, at this stage that probably wouldn't be a bad idea.

[communicator.livejournal.com]

Those are so wonderful. I can't help but adore them all.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Even the cockroaches? :-P

[communicator.livejournal.com]

Kind of. I adore Killer, it's one of my favourite episodes. I know they are bonkers costumes. And yet, somehow awesome (http://www.framecaplib.com/b7lib/html/episodes/images/killer/killr029.htm). Am I right that Vila took his off?

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is, the Killer ones are so gleefully, unabashedly... as you say, bonkers.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

LOL! Look at the look on Avon's face! Yes, Vila took his off, the better to show us his wonderful Killer trousers (http://www.framecaplib.com/b7lib/html/chars/images/killer/alone/killr060.htm). ;-) Sensible (and sexy) Vila! I love that ep too, and it's one of the few I remember seeing as a kid because of the utter chill I got when Bellfriar forgot how to read.

[thetisonline.livejournal.com]

The "Lobster Suit" might actually be worse than the house painter I think! Even though I like the rest of the outfit, Avon's "Push Buttons" ruin that particular one.
http://www.framecaplib.com/b7lib/html/episodes/images/web/web017.htm

Dayna had two of those awful "Crotch Grabbers". I seem to remember a maroon coloured one too (Can't remember the episode). What were they thinking? Anyone with a lesser figure, and the results could have been shockingly awful.

An honourable mention for all the wrong reasons (or are they right?) for Tarrant's "Kairopants". http://www.framecaplib.com/b7lib/html/episodes/images/harvest/harv176.htm

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

All the men dress appallingly in Kairos... it's a sad thing when the Ghastly Jarvik looks better than even Avon :( and Vila's shade-of-porridge pajamas... {shudder}

Maybe we need a Best Of... to compensate.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I agree. We should take this to b7discussion and vote on the finalists. I'm too tired tonight to do that though. (All shagged out after doing a naart). I'll put up a post tomorrow if no one else has.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I call the push-button one the Sailor Boy. :-)

[shudders at the the guys in the HoK screencap] Even more reasons to hate that ep. Apart from that though, Tarrant fared quite well in costumes.

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

the Sailor Boy

I call it the sailor suit, and I love it. One of my LJ user interests is "Avon's sailor suit" in fact. *grins*

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[bramblyhedge.livejournal.com]

Hee! Oh gods, I love this show. <3

I know, I know, they're horrifyingly bad outfits, but somehow they're so bad they're good (or maybe I'm only saying that because my eyes just exploded *lol*). People should wear them to B7 conventions - it'd be hilarious fun. *g*

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

They did have flare! At least they were never contemporary people in space like the present-day Americans in BSG.

[executrix.livejournal.com]

vilakins said: They did have flare!

Literally so--like Avon's up-to-the-minute 70s boot cuts and platform soles in "Bounty." (Isn't that the episode where they forgot to spec any trousers so they had to get him some from C&A? And where the fans said, "I don't see why they bothered?"?)

I think it's only fair to say that without the Lobster Suit, there would have been no dress-down Lobster Trousers and Black Polo-Neck outfit, which is my favorite.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, you caught a perhaps excusable typo there. :-P

I'm not that up on the costumes. I have heard that the red lobster trousers (I think) were so tight that Gan had to help Avon into position and up again before and after a kneeling scene.

True; that outfit is elegant and simple.

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

so tight that Gan had to help Avon into position and up again before and after a kneeling scene

Okay, that took my mind places that it really, really did not want to go.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Not a typo this time, but an unfortunate choce of words? Augh! I suppose Avon was working on something techy.

[crycraven.livejournal.com]

...but B7 can carry the comedy costumes off, even though they should have been carried off. Housepainter is the worse for me - orange, Avon? - but he's still a big 'ol pile of sexy!
x

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

They're not his colours though. It's a great man who can rise above his clothes!

[gair.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like House Painter Avon! I like most of his early outfits, I think. It's only in 3 that he starts to lose me (I was going to say 4 as well, but I really like the flight suits in 4...)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

He does go very OTT in S3 and S4. I like the plainer outfits on Avon too, but the House Painter is the wrong colours and too drab for him. I think the Sailor Boy is much better on him. :-)

[entropy-house.livejournal.com]

The toreador one always made me admire the actors. Anyone who could get through a clinch scene straight-faced with Avon's puffy shoulder-donuts going 'crunch'... it's amazing.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many takes it took.

[executrix.livejournal.com]

I believe that was one area in which PD and JP were willing to seek perfection no matter how many snogs it took.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Perhaps that's why PD consented to wear the thing.

[redscharlach.livejournal.com]

Crikey, there are some classics there! I particularly like Avon's expression in the toreador one: he seems to be saying "You think you're a snappy dresser, Servalan? Well, get a load of THIS!"

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

He was possibly hoping it would so stun her, it would put her right off her game.

[san-valentine.livejournal.com]

I have to vote for Servalan's outfit at the end of 'Pressure Point'. The dress itself isn't so bad, it's the enormous, glittery lizard clinging to her nipples that make it so memorable.

[piemancer]

Oo, delicious.
Remarkably, I only remember the lizard. Well, and the boobies.

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

The lizard is widely hated, but I kind of adore it.

[third-ray.livejournal.com]

Hated, really? I too adore it. She in that dress and Travis in fur ("Project Avalon") are the most extravagant villains ever!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Some people think that's her best! As Sally says, it's certainly memorable.

[britgeekgrrl.livejournal.com]

*grins*

Aww, but come on. Those oh-so-painful costumes are part of the show's appeal, surely?

Granted, I was shouting "My eyes! My eyes!" a lot during a recent marathon viewing... ;)

The "House Painter" outfit is, indeed, particularly unsuitable for the character...

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Oh, I like the costumes: they're (almost) never boring even when they go badly wrong. They still give the series a real SF feel, and without purple wigs!

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

This made me laugh so much. I'd forgotten all those glorious moments.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

At least they were rarely boring! :-D

[toft-froggy.livejournal.com]

They certainly weren't. Ohhh, I want to watch Blakes 7 again now.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Do it! You know you want to. Actually I have to get back to the reviews next month.