One of the better ways to wake up

[vilakins]

I say, Jeeves. I desire a 30s clock which will wake me with the mellifluous tones of Stephen Fry. It would be quite the thing, if I did not already possess a newfangled gadget that wakes me when I'm bobbing near the surface as it were. There are 50 wake-up different messages, but one of my favourites is: "I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree. I believe it is the rotation of the earth that is to blame, sir."

I love the whole style of this site; even the FAQs and order page are fun to read. Apparently there will be a 'madam' version out on May. Humph. I'd rather be 'sir'. I loathe being called 'madam'; I don't run a brothel or peer at people through a lorgnette over an enormous, heaving floral-clad bosom, dammit.

Thanks to britgeekgrrl for the link.

Comments

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Coolest clock ever!

or peer at people through a lorgnette over an enormous, heaving floral-clad bosom

You do realize that I'm now picturing you doing just that? It's incredibly amusing. :)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I'll have to borrow someone else's heaving bosom then.

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Prosthetics! :)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Swiss balls (I have two, and no, there are no Swiss men in this house) with a vibrating cell phone taped to them!

[hafren.livejournal.com]

Oh, I must get that for my daughter's birthday; she's a big Jeeves & Wooster fan! Thanks for the link.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

It's more Gosford Park than Jeeves, but I'd think of him as Jeeves. I loved that series. It was the highlight of my week back then.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

I can lend you mine...

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Have you got a lorgnette to go with it?

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

I don't run a brothel or peer at people through a lorgnette over an enormous, heaving floral-clad bosom, dammit.

But I do, so I'll be waiting until May it seems ;0)

Seriously though, it's great! I think I want one, but it would be wasted on me as I don't use an alarm clock.

How is the gadget one working out?

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

Actually I do have a lorgnette somewhere! My stepfather gave it to me, a budding Lady Bracknell used it when I was at school

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Pretty well. It's supposed to wake you when you're in a light sleep cycle at any time in the half hour before the time the alarm's set for (7am in my case), but I'm such a light sleeper, it usually wakes me just after 6:30am and I think, "Augh, too early," and doze off again. You're supposed to bounce out of bed and say, "Yay, an extra 30 minutes or less to do stuff in!" (like an early morning walk) but I tend not to. :-P

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Ah, now if they were going to bring out a version of that clock that wakes 'my lady', I might just spring for it. That's one of the few female terms not yet turned into a denigration.

[jaxomsride.livejournal.com]

I think I'd preferthe extra 30 minutes rather than being woken up "naturally".
The voice bit I like the beep afterwards not so! I think something a little less jarring would suit me.
Possibly the whistle of an old style steam kettle would be fitting I'd think tea and toast.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

One of the messages was something like, "The staff appear to have left and it is my day off, so I regret that you will have to make your perfectly browned toast yourself, sir." Only smoother.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Ummm, no. But there is a lorgnette case among the family heirlooms, I think. Must check with the Oldest Sister...