Don't tap my shoulder; I have a chip on it

[vilakins]

LJ has a new feature which is more a bug in the sense that it will seriously bug people. You can now nudge a mutual friend from their info page to update their LJ if they haven't posted in the last week. Oh, joy.

I wanted to see what would happen, so I nudged one of my characters, kerrill (who is now choosing a weapon). She got this e-mail:

Hey kerrill,

Your mutual friend vilakins has noticed that you last updated your journal on LiveJournal 2 weeks ago! Be a friend and go post.

Sincerely,
The LiveJournal team

I'd be extremely annoyed if I got one of those. I've disabled it for myself; if you nudge me, you get:

While we know you want to hear from vilakins, they have disabled nudges from other users.

So there. What were they thinking? To disable it for yourself, go to the admin console and execute the following command:

set disable_nudge 1

Comments

[kerravonsen]

Thanks for the heads-up; I have done so.

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Gee, and you'd probably be the only person I'd nudge. ;-)

[kerravonsen]

Well, it was an automatic negative reaction to the whole idea on my part -- as Nico says below, I'd be really annoyed to be "ordered" to post, as if the only purpose of LJ was to prevent my friends from being bored. I mean, I don't understand why people have friends policies where one gets dropped for not posting enough -- I'm more likely to drop someone for posting too much (and being too difficult to keep up with).

I know you wouldn't abuse it, but then I'd rather just get an email from you anyway.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And what's wrong with commenting?

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

I wasn't suggesting you not disable it. I'd e-mail (or just call, if I ever remember to refill my phone card).

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Hah. I dunno, I get worried when folk don't post. But if I wanted to check on them, I'd just e-mail them myself. So on the one hand, I can see why people might want it; on the other hand, I agree: what were they thinking?

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

The wording of the e-mail is unfortunate to say the least. I'd be really annoyed to be ordered to make a post. If I'm worried about someone (and I have been at times) I just make a comment on one of their posts.

[trixieleitz]

Thank you!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Nyet problemy! I saw a locked post about it and thought I'd better pass it on to people who mightn't know.

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

The part of me that is forever four years old had an immediate and quite definite reaction to the idea of being told to "be a friend..."

"WON'T!!!!!" (stamps feet, stubs toe, swears a bit)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

LOL, me too.

"Have a nice day."
"I'll have the sort of day I want, thanks."

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

You were swearing at age four? You precocious thing, you. ;-)

[hafren.livejournal.com]

I shall disable too, but I'm just wondering if this is in any way a reaction to something that happened recently - a friend of a friend stopped posting after a rather despairing message and her flist was actually worried she might have done something silly. She hadn't, and I don't know if they went the length of contacting admin, but...?

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I think that sort of things happens quite a lot (esp given the number of teenagers on LJ). I don't think that's their reason, looking at the wording of their FAQ. Even if you don't know a person's e-mail address (and you do know an alias for it if they have a paid account), most people get notifies so you can leave comments on a post instead of getting LJ to send a rude and peremptory message that would probably further upset someone already overwhelmed by RL.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

However I just realised that going to this page (http://www.livejournal.com/friends/nudge.bml) which shows all your nudgeable friends is a quick way of seeing how long it's been since anyone you're worried about posted.

[hafren.livejournal.com]

OMG. Those include some of the people I should most expect to object to being electronically nudged....

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wouldn't nudge anyone; it's rude! I just thought that if you were worried about someone not posting for a while, this would just show you how long it's been.

Two on my flist are at 6 and 11 weeks respectively but I'm not worried. They just don't post often.

[kalypso-v.livejournal.com]

I think part of the problem is the tone, and the implication that you're a Bad Friend if you don't post, whether you have something to say or not. And I seem to remember there was something irritating about the tone of all those orders we kept getting to change our passwords.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's a cultural thing, and the messages don't sound half so offensive in American? But we seem to have Americans complaining about it too.

[snowgrouse.livejournal.com]

I can see the reasons for it being there, but I didn't know you could disable it--thanks.

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I noticed it myself, and I'm thinking of disabling it - though I'll keep it up for my RPG and Fic journals, since.. I actually appreciate nudging for those.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I've kept it for those too. If people nudge Vila or the others, it's rather flattering.

[jhall1.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Disabled.

[alinewrites.livejournal.com]

I had the same reaction about it when I read the news... It's so incredibly *rude*!

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

It is! It's unlikely that I'd go a whole week without posting, but I'm not giving anyone the chance to poke me. Not that I can imagine anyone on my flist doing that; it's the principle.

[reapermum.livejournal.com]

But it has been nearly 3 months since you added anything to you web site. :-)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I updated the LJ links recently. And I'll be putting a story up this month (I'm still writing it for the finish-a-thon).

[reapermum.livejournal.com]

LJ links are no use from here, I've already read them. But a whole new story.... that's something to look forward to (and I can't remember which one won the vote, so it'll be a surprise as well.)

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that - I know I would get really annoyed if I got a nudge. Sure, I know I would like to post more than I do but like a lot of people RL often gets in the way...

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Exactly!