vilakins: Vila with stars superimposed (wild creatures)
Nico ([personal profile] vilakins) wrote2006-01-04 04:24 pm

FIclet: Sunrise

This is another story for my big table of Vila fic for [livejournal.com profile] fanfic100, written for the prompt of 'sunrise'. A PGP, set the next day, 500 words. This is very probably a sequel to Cabin.

Sunrise

Vila was surprised he'd slept. He'd thought the now fading pain in his back would keep him awake or that he'd have nightmares, but he'd fallen asleep straight away, exhausted. He hadn't even dreamed, despite the images that had tormented him all through the escape and long walk from the base.

He huddled under his blanket in the stale, damp straw, unwilling to move. A grey light was coming in through the open doorway (the door had long ago fallen off or been stolen), enough to show him Soolin under her own dirty blanket. The red mark left by a blaster near-miss on her forehead showed only as a faint dark smudge in the light; lucky Vila had found a medical kit on his way out.

He wriggled deeper into the straw, not looking forward to another trek. Not that they could stay here; they needed to find somewhere far away and safe. They hadn't even slept in the deserted farmhouse last night because Soolin had refused to go in. She'd said it was where most people on the run would sleep and made them go to the barn, which made sense, but Vila had seen the look on her face. Maybe it reminded her of her home.

The light was stronger now and turning pink. Pink? Vila stumbled to his feet and went to the doorway and stood there, shivering, the blanket pulled tight around him. The whole eastern sky was lit behind the trees, as if half the planet were on fire. "Oh, wonderful."

"Vila?" Soolin slid off her pile of straw and joined him, her face pale and tired. "What is it?"

"Something's burning. Something big."

"Yes," Soolin said dryly. "The sun."

"Oh." Vila hadn't seen a sunrise before, not from the surface, anyway. Little rosy patches of light winked on the barn wall, filtered by trees. "It's pretty."

"It's bad news."

"What d'you mean?"

"Red sky at night, farmers' delight. Red sky in the morning, farmers' warning." Soolin hugged herself, her face more closed than usual.

"Why?" he asked. "Can't be worse than yesterday."

"It usually means there's bad weather on the way." She shrugged as if throwing off her dark thoughts. "I want a wash before we go."

"Wash? Where?"

Soolin pointed. "Rain water tank." She turned on a tap, and put her head under it, rubbing her face and hair vigorously with her hands.

Vila followed, yelping at the cold water, but he felt better afterwards, as if he'd washed some of yesterday away. He got his boots and looked around as he pulled on them on. The sun was above the trees and the run-down building was lit with gold. There were bright yellow flowers growing around it which reminded him of somewhere he'd been, something that might hurt to remember too well.

Soolin followed his eyes. "Lions' teeth. They're just weeds."

"Oh. Well, so'm I. If they do all right here, there's hope for us."

Soolin almost smiled. "Come on. Let's go."

[identity profile] mistraltoes.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
Good, as always. I particularly like the bit about something burning, and Soolin's voice is just right--economical, practical, to the point. Towards the end, they do seem to be bouncing back rather quickly, though--maybe it's too cheerful too soon?

You may want to put a comma in the third paragraph after 'barn'; otherwise 'which made sense' becomes an intrinsic quality of the barn, rather than a comment on the act of staying there.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks; done. :-)

I don't think they're bouncing back too quickly; more taking refuge in action and the present. Soolin doesn't like thinking of the past (and she doesn't actually smile at what Vila says) and Vila doesn't even want to be reminded of Fosforon because remembering when Avon was a friend would hurt too much. I think Vila's good at ignoring the past and moving on; he must have done it a lot, after all.

[identity profile] astrogirl2.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
I agree, it didn't seem to "bouncy" to me at all. Very in-character for resilient Vila and practical-minded Soolin, in fact. And I liked the bit about the burning sky, too. It's an excellent detail, and feels very right.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! That's reassuring. :-)

I think if Vila found himself in a new situation where he had some control over events, he'd break out of the downward spiral he was in on Xenon, though the past would still hurt.

[identity profile] mistraltoes.livejournal.com 2006-01-05 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, I agree with your assessment of their personalities. It's just that I'd still expect some ambivalence, and your ending seems almost wholly upbeat to me. I was just wondering whether you'd gotten what was in your head fully onto the page there. But as it seems I'm the only one wondering, it must be all right.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-05 08:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe I didn't get it across very well. Vila's shying away from remembering where he saw similar flowers, he describes himself as a weed, and Soolin's only response is practicality. I'd so the ending was hopeful rather than bouncy and upbeat. At least that's what I intended.

[identity profile] hafren.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
So typical of him to snaffle a med kit on the way out!

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
It is, which is lucky since I had to explain them not being in fairly good shape.
kerravonsen: Vila resting his eyes: "Only Dreaming" (Vila-dreaming)

[personal profile] kerravonsen 2006-01-04 08:47 am (UTC)(link)
The whole thing with the sun burning, what a nifty idea, it makes sense. 8-)

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 09:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! It was fun working out what Vila would make of a planetary sunrise.

[identity profile] pinkdormouse.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I particularly liked your Soolin there.

Gina

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2006-01-04 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

[identity profile] vandonovan.livejournal.com 2008-03-11 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
Hee, reading through a bunch of these since you posted linked to them recently, and this one struck me as especially nice. I'm not sure I entirely buy Vila not knowing what a sunset looks like, even if he's never seen one in person, but I really like his inability to think back on the flowers (great icon use, BTW) and how he calls himself a weed but takes that to be a compliment. It all works very nicely. :) I'm glad I saw this one.

[identity profile] vilakins.livejournal.com 2008-03-11 06:47 pm (UTC)(link)
It was a sunrise, and he was never outside early enough to see one. Yes, he'd have seen pictures, but after what had just happened, he'd naturally fear the worst.

I'm glad you liked it. :-)