You know you're from New Zealand when...

[vilakins]

I've read several interesting "you know you live in wherever" posts about various US states and countries, so here's mine.

Go to Google, type in 'you know you're from (insert country or state)and copy the jokes you find listed. Bold the ones that apply to you.

I found bugger-all (see, I'm already slipping into dialect) so I used some of what I did find plus some more I thought of.

OK.

You know you're from New Zealand when...

You know what to do in an earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, i don't reckon it's the Big One this time. We'll be right".

You can hum the theme song to Fair Go and Country Calendar. - Greg can.

People think you're a flightless bird. - And I bloody hate, hate, hate that.

People in other countries don't know what season it is here.

Christmas means salads, or a barbie on the beach.

You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds).

The only good thing about winter is the lack of mosquitoes.

You're seen Split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once.

You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is up themselves. Or Australian.

You wear togs to go swimming, and jandals on your feet.

You use "mate" as a greeting, affectionate nickname, and exclamation, like Americans do with "dude".

The name "Chappell" still outrages you. - Only when I see the footage replayed.

You know someone who worked on The Lord of the Rings or Xena.

You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs.

The word "bugger" is so acceptable it appears in well-known TV ads.

The dairy sells a lot more than just stuff from cows.

You've rolled Jaffas down the aisle at the cinema as a kid.

You know you're horribly lost if you've been driving for more than two hours without the scenery changing to something completely different.

The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow.

You don't think twice about barefooting it to the supermarket. - only on a holiday at the beach, mate,

Everything has to go in the fridge or it'll go mouldy in a couple of days.

As soon as you saved the airfare, you buggered off on The Big OE (Overseas Experience)...

...wearing a t-shirt saying, "London, New York, Paris, Rome, Eketahuna".

You can put up with--or even like--the sound of rain on a corrugated iron roof.

The idea of living more than two hours away from the sea is foreign to you.

Hokey-pokey is your favourite ice-cream flavour. - one of them.

You don't get dressed up to go to town or the theatre/opera/symphony orchestra.

You listen to the weather forecast before choosing your clothes. - I have an electronic barometer I consult.

You know someone who left their own wedding celebrations to watch a rugby game on TV.

You support any team that plays Australia.

You went into withdrawal and shock when you arrived in the UK and found that no one knew what a flat white or a long black is.

Proper hamburgers have lettuce, tomato, onion, and beetroot in them.

Comments

[mab_browne]

Poor wee Eketahuna. I wonder why it got chosen to represent the arse-end of nowhere for the entire country?

You know you're from NZ when you say the arse-end of nowhere, too.

[vilakins]

I went through it a couple of years ago and it seemed mostly harmless. I think it's the name that appeals, like Timbuktu used to.

You know you live in the arse-end of nowhere too. :-P I am so sick of people assuming it's the same season down here as they have up there. At least LOTR fans have some idea about the place.

[mab_browne]

I have at least some of my flist trained now. *g* But yes, the happy assurance on the internets that the entire world lives in only that portion of the northern hemisphere with well-defined seasons is occasionally a little wearing. Never mind the southern hemisphere, there's life in the tropics as well, y'know, and some of it even gets on the world wide web.

Nope. No issues there at all.

[kerravonsen]

You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is up themselves. Or Australian.
Correction:
You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is up themselves. Or Australian American.
8-P

It's interesting how many of these apply to Australia, too.

[vilakins]

We could do with a lot more self-esteem. That you have more is to your credit, and one of several reasons I'd like to live over there. You're a lot more positive.

I noticed several of the Australian ones applied here too. :-)

[vilakins]

Yes, I'm sure that Americans living in the south get annoyed at the assumption that it snows (or should snow) everywhere at Christmas.

It gets me that people on my flist who know where I live--and they're not all Americans by any means--think that if it's summer there it must be here too.

[kerravonsen]

That you have more is to your credit, and one of several reasons I'd like to live over there. You're a lot more positive.

You reckon? I still think we have too much of the cultural cringe, too much of the attitude that "it's only any good if it was invented elsewhere".

Then again, the only thing that Aussies are allowed to be positive about is sport. And that is something which we have huge self-confidence in. The words "Australian cricket loss" just don't sound right... ;-)

[vilakins]

But it happened very recently! :-D

Yes, I think you're much happier to be yourselves, perhaps because you're big enough to be noticed, and to be self-sustaining. We don't even matter to you, let alone anyone else.

[trixieleitz]

I can't do Fair Go off the top of my head (haven't watched it for too long), but I can do A Dog's Show.

You're also from New Zealand if you know that a kiwi is not a fruit.

[vilakins]

But it's not a human either. :-(

[trixieleitz]

That's a separate annoyance :)

[vilakins]

That's an understatement in my case.

[cdybedahl]

Beetroot?!

[vilakins]

Oh, yes! Sliced and yummy and vinegary! It used to be a traditional salad item too, and I see it's making a comeback in restaurants. I sometimes make retro salads with lettuce, boiled egg, grated cheese and carrots--and sliced or baby beetroot. :-)

[linda-joyce.livejournal.com]

What are Jaffas, here they are either oranges(my first guess) or Jaffa Cakes( a sort of biscuit with orange jelly chocolate and an firm soft biscuit)

And over here it would be dropping lolly sticks from the balcony onto your enemies below.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

They're very hard round sweets with chocolate centres, then a hard white shell, then a hard orange-flavoured one. So they're chocolate and orange like your jaffa cakes. They make a very satisfying noise on wooden stairs or tiers, but they don't seem to have those now.

I shall add a link to the post. :-)

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

I looked up a New Mexico one, but it just made me remember that I'd actually done this before, ages ago. Also, it made me hungry for green chile and salsa. :)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Now you've made me hungry for green chilli (which usually comes in Thai form) and salsa! I did have Thai last night, but not the green chilli. Next time!

I did this one for Auckland once. I remember there was one which was something like "you've spend more than 30 minutes in a traffic jam with the car next to you have more power going to its speakers than its wheels" and believe me you can hear those guys' bass on the road right down this long driveway. Anyway, a comment on the site was "30 minutes is not a traffic jam".

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

Beetroot???

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

There's only Hokey Pokey icecream... no other flavours exist. LOL.

I'm planning to do one of these lists to confuse/stun my overseas f-list. Hee.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Yep, red ones, pickled and sliced! Also great in salads. Really, it's very tasty! I only hate it if someone puts it in jelly or aspic because I loathe the sliminess of those things and besides, it's a complete travesty! I have just discovered baby one you can eat whole. Mmmmm. So refreshing in summer. In winter we just had it as a cold vegetable and I used to mix the juice with my mashed potatoes to make them bright pink.

[Edit] Of course that's as well as the meat, fish, or vege pattie in said hamburger.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Feel free to copy mine and add anything you think up. :-)

[kindkit.livejournal.com]

I'm not freaked out by beetroot as such, although it's not my favorite vegetable. It's just the thought of it on a hamburger that's weird (to me).

Cultural differences are different, yes.

[imhilien.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) I will add some things I found from another list too. :)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

If it wasn't lovely and vinegary, I mightn't care for it. :-)