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Ficlet: Diary of a Space Captain
For last week's diary excerpt challenge on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small}
b7friday, 600 words excluding the day headers.
Diary of a Space Captain
Day 1
Have bought 5-year diary to record thoughts. Think that thoughts of a Space Fleet Captain will be of interest to posterityor.
Day 365
Diary a bit neglected. Am man of action, not thought. Actions of last year include orbital support for Zircaster fiasco, escort of old has-been from Lindor to out-of-way planet (and inconclusive exchange of fire with daughter of old has-been). Life of Space Fleet Captain not dashing adventure implied by recruitment posters.
Day 1
Am considering alternative career. Am fed up to back teeth at having to salute and obey meatheads like Jarvik who would better be employed lifting heavy objects on construction site. Told him so and was surprised he did not start fight in canteen. Pity. Need distraction from appalling canteen food.
Day 365
Another year gone. Much has happened: Deeta left Federation. self left Space Fleet for more dashing life as no family to enslave bar Devious Uncle Dev who deserves what gets as only ever gave Deeta and me socks for birthday.
Day 68
Note to self: do not deal with gangsters, esp ones with violent nicknames. Refused to fire on passenger liner, but disabling Bayban's ship instead not good way to make name for self as mercenary. Am blacklisted.
Day 363
Off to make name for self by driving off invading Andromedans.
Day 1
Not much glory in defeat of jellies but am now captain of Liberator, fastest ship in galaxy. Excellent start to new year.
Day 8
Failed to understand command structure of Liberator which is based on level of bastardy; Kerr Avon clearly outranks self. Am still pilot of fastest ship in galaxy.
Day 24
Vila, I know it was you who changed the last word of the first entry in this diary. If I catch you at it again, you'll be scrubbing the flight deck with your toothbrush.
Day 81
Note to self: avoid black holes which aren't.
Day 124
Am not cut out to be pirate.
Day 161
Bayban blown up to great relief. Also Vila not as stupid as looks, though this not hard.
Day 205
Servalan more evil than looks. Another fiasco but at least survived plague.
Day 242
Seem to be having bad year. Consolation: Avon's is worse. So far have not had to shoot girlfriend. Note to self: pretend not to see flirty looks from Dayna as would probably shoot me.
Day 289
Note to self: never wear sheet again. No more toga parties no matter what Vila says.
Day 326
Less said about huge pulsating brains, mating rituals, and exploding teeth (old nightmare) the better.
Day 361
Have told Cally have gone right off eating chicken after suspecting casserole after Moloch incident.
Day 323
Deeta, you.. [rest of page torn out]
Day 365
Have had ships blown out from under, never eaten. Am annoyed. Suspect Servalan's ship a lemon.
Day 1
Vila holding wake for Cally and Zen. Not bad idea actually as need to forget memory of thing in basement.
Day 33
All rumours that am now pilot of rusty planet-hopper anti-rebel propaganda. Have only ship in galaxy with teleport.
Day 69
Am now pilot of fastest ship in galaxy. However am concerned about Avon's disregard of lives of some crew and passengers. Could extend to self.
Day 166
Have decided to ignore fiascos. Today succeeded in not being assassinated. Go, me.
Day 228
Servalan sexier than looks, which is pretty difficult. Crew not speaking to me which is great relief in most cases.
Day 356
Lost another ship. Typical end to crap year. Can't get worse.
Day 357
Was wrong.
Day 1
Am co-pilot of fastest ship in solar system, but better than most alternatives. Ship owned by Jenna - Blake lied because of Devious Uncle Dev; most unfair. Told him D now bond slave and B almost split stitches laughing. Bad point: Vila (and Soolin) now weapons officers on ship. Good however: Avon and Orac on new base. Consider self co-captain.
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Yay!
>Less said about huge pulsating brains, mating rituals, and exploding teeth (old nightmare) the better.
Oh man, I've just watched this. xD xD
And I just love the ending.
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That's my favourite entry !
But the whole thing was ace. Thanks for making me laugh.
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Re: Yay!
Ah yes, 'Ultraworld', the ep that spawned a dozen Cally/Avon body-swap AUs.
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[ducks and looks round fearfully for members of Tarrant Nostra armed with flame-throwers]
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Tufty makes a good target, but his supporters are a rabid and flamy lot.
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his supporters are a rabid and flamy lot
Their sudden addition to cold water...
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