Fic: No Apologies

[vilakins]

This is for kerravonsen who wanted reconciliation fic.

No Apologies

Vila looked a lot better than when Avon had last seen him in the medical unit at Avalon's base, and in fact a lot better than he had looked for a long time before that mess at Gauda Prime. He was tanned and healthy and had lost that expression of defeat and hopelessness.

He looked wary and sullen though. "What d'you want, Avon?"

Avon shrugged, trying to sound casual. "I was passing by and wanted to see how you were."

"Oh, yes? Several sectors away from base? Don't give me that. You want something from me."

Avon looked away. He picked up a vase on the sideboard and pretended to be interested in the Lindorian design.

"Want something opened? Want some live bait? Or perhaps some shuttle ballast?"

He sounded so bitter, Avon couldn't look at him. "Vila..." He hesitated. "Look, if you're expecting an apology--"

"Not from you, no."

Avon closed his eyes briefly. "Under the same circumstances I would do the same thing again. It was logical. And what good would saying I was sorry do? Words can't change the past."

"No, but they can change the future."

Avon blinked and looked at Vila, seeing the anger and hurt on his face. Once they had been friends, but not since Cally died. He hadn't wanted anyone to get close after that, but it was only now that he realised just how much they had both changed in that year, how he had hardened himself and withdrawn from them all, how Vila had lost all his resilience and humour and hope. "Vila," he said wearily, "I realise I may have caused you pain. If there was anything I could do to change that, I would." An empty gesture. Just words.

Vila stared at him in wonder. "I think you just did," he said. Then he suddenly grinned. "Anyway, I'd never have thrown myself out for you."

A heaviness lifted from Avon and he smiled back.

Comments

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

::sniffle::

[hafren.livejournal.com]

I like that... Very honest of Vila.

[kerravonsen]

(smile) Thanks.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

He'd never have killed Avon to save himself--he's a thief, not a murderer--but he's not exactly self-sacrificing either. I can't quite believe the stories I've read where he is.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I hope it made you feel better. :-D

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

But it's a happy ending!

[kerravonsen]

8-) It helped.
Now I'm just feeling quite tired.

[hafren.livejournal.com]

I think with the right incentive he might sacrifice something short of his life - I'd have to say that because I've made him do it sometimes - because he does have strong attachments. But never his life, I agree.

[zoefruitcake.livejournal.com]

ahhh.

Like the line about ballast ;0)

[mistraltoes.livejournal.com]

Yes, but... since Avon still doesn't appear to understand why his apology changes things, I feel they've glossed it over just a bit, rather than fully resolved it. I do like the story, it just doesn't make me feel the relationship is 100% whole. Don't mind me, I'm just funny about apologies that way.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I like them to make it up. They make such a good team.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember the one with Carnell and I could see that. :-) The stories I'm thinking of are a few I've read where Vila nobly spaces himself over Malodar to save Avon. That's just not him. If Vila gave his life for someone, it would be unthinkingly and instinctively as when he runs towards Kerril's and Dayna's screams--falling straight down a hole on both occasions. :-)

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Yes, I don't think Avon saw the point of apologies until Vila said that, and even then he doesn't give a real one. He does show he cares about Vila though and regrets that he hurt him, and that's what counts to Vila. I think it would take a while to get back to their S2/S2 friendship--if they ever did--but it's a start.

Actually I have something very similar to this planned for the PGP I'm writing. They do end up friends and fall back into their old banter, but Vila never quite trusts Avon again.

[calapine.livejournal.com]

::clings to nice!fic::

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

Yes, I absolutely agree. :)

[alinewrites.livejournal.com]

Aw! This is so good! I can't stand it when they're apart (I don't think I'll watch season 4 *at all* just for that.)
And Avon doesn't even knows that words can change things... He's so hopelessly *bad* at relationships!!
Thanks for that.
I hope you don't mind if I friend you, I wouldn't want to miss such good moments. (It doesn't matter if you don't friend me back :) )

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

I don't like S4 either; in fact I'll only buy it for completeness and the few moments I like in it. It's so bleak and depressing.

I hope you don't mind if I friend you

Of course not! I'm always flattered. :-D

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

:-D

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

Avon closed his eyes briefly. "Under the same circumstances I would do the same thing again. It was logical. And what good would saying I was sorry do? Words can't change the past."

"No, but they can change the future."

ZING! Fantastic Vila line! This was great, Nico, I just lved it.

[vilakins.livejournal.com]

Thank you! [grin] It's so obvious but it's never occurred to Avon.

[lizamanynames.livejournal.com]

*nods* It really underlines the fundamental difference between Avon and and Vila. Avon is so wrapped up in the past, I don't think he can accept the future exsists.